Ever since the summer after my sixth grade year, I have journalled every night. This journaling habit has led me through a trans-Atlantic move, a sister away to college, a sister away to China, the hardships of high school, the decision to skip a grade... basically everything. In the span of thirteen journals, I have poured out my soul each and every night in addition to telling about how the day went.

I type up the entries as a way of keeping an electronic record of everything. However, I refuse to journal on a computer. First, because I have a love of smooth gel ink pens, and secondly, because there is nothing more soothing than pouring your heart out onto a page, not worrying about the circuit shorting when you cry on it. So, the electronic copies of my journals only serve as a smaller copy of the thirteen journals.

Every so often, I reread a particular journal to see what I was going through. I see the anguish I labored over my friends in seventh grade when I had the best friend in the world right there, unbeknowest to me. I see how I would obsess about asking that guy to the dance that nobody asked anyone to. That was just when I was starting out.

As I grew, my handwriting got better (I almost always write in cursive) and I thought I would learn eons about myself. Here's the thing - a relaxing habit does not lend itself to epiphanies unless one works at it.

I have to reread and reflect on my journals to really see the path I've travelled and how it can help me in the future. Reflecting allows me to see that I have already had one crazy life and I'm capable of handling much more than I ever thought possible. (My second year of high school should be a testament to this.)

I will start a new journal tomorrow night. And while I don't know how long it will take me to fill the pages or what it will contain, I do know I will come to it when things are good, when things are bad and when I am so confused I don't know what question to ask. Journaling has helped me become more introspective. Sometimes I think that's a bad thing. But then I remember, a little self reflection never hurt anyone.

Anyway, if I always travel with my journal and I record the funny moments in my life, I can always have a joke book with me. I can be like Oscar Wilde and have something sensational to read that is extremely personal.

I have been on the hunt for my college laptop the past two weeks. I'm not a gamer so I didn't need fancy graphics. I don't store music on my computer so I don't need loads of storage. What I needed was a laptop that worked with what Carroll wanted and could withstand me hitting the backspace key repetitively in anger.

What I found was that Best Buy (one of the only places I trusted) covered the ITS requirements quite easily. They said they only had two computers that didn't qualify. That helped but, also didn't.

Apparently, it's weird for someone to just want a computer for writing.

So I poked around, did some research and decided it didn't really matter as long as I felt comfortable with it.

Which, I suppose, is like all things with writing. Do it so that it makes you comfortable. If that means a Mac, so be it. If it means, for me, an HP, oh well.

What type of computer do you use for your writing? Do you love it? Hate it? Let me know.

Having my other half and getting re-addicted to E.R. can be fun, but also a strain on the writing relationship.

I do the majority of my writing on the family computer (some on iPod or on paper) since that's where my flashdrive is with my Master Files and my Excel Spreadsheet for my 2010 progress. The family computer, I might add, is downstairs, basically away from everything else except the junk room (the unfinished part of the basement). So that makes writing a pretty solitary activity.

It's been so nice having my sister home that I thought I would take a dy or two break from writing. That day or two stretched into a week. I still journaled at least one hundred words a night, as I always do, but I stayed away from heavy writing.

Today, I returned. My mind is refreshed. The plot bunnies have been silenced but that, actually, is wonderful. Now I can focus on one thing and not worry about having my attention diverted by the other muses.

This week break also allowed me to realize that I write because I love it. And when I'm forcing words (sorry JulNo) I'm not enjoying it. This should be an interesting experience in college, but I'm ready to get used to it. See, when I was not writing, I was thinking, "I should be writing." It was like an itch I couldn't scratch. Now, I'm back at it.

Albeit, slower this time. I will still try for my goal of 890 words a day, however, if I don't achieve that, I won't beat myself up.


Try a break sometime - you might find yourself more productive afterwards.

I've always liked filling out character sheets, up until a point. Then, I realized how tedious they are. And yet, I am realizing how important they are.

My roommate and I have been Facebook chatting and emailing, finding out all the weird things about each other. This is way beyond what we look like and what our favorite colors are. We're telling each other our quirks (afraid of the sound of flushing toilets, thinking pickles are cucumbers soaked in evil to name a few [both are mine]), our fears (not being challenged) and weird things like our high school mascot and class size.

All of this is helping me get a better picture of Sarah. It's very random what questions come up. We've had questions from do you like jigsaw puzzles to what would you see in the Mirror of Erised. (Thank you J.K. Rowling for uniting the world!)

So next time you need to do a character sheet, don't think of it as tedious work. Think of it as a conversation between you and your character, letting it take off in whatever way you want, as long as you get some answers.

Sometimes I love reading YA Lit as a teenager because they get it right. And sometimes they don't...

One thing I have never gotten a proper feeling for in a YA book is the mixed emotions about college. I mean, there have been undertones of college in one of my favorites - Along for the Ride by Sarah Dessen - but never as the main theme.

Here's what I know about going to college, as a senior who graduated this Spring. Some of these are generalizations but many are experienced by myself, my friends and family.

1) You will cry at sappy family commercials. The one about a mom sending her daughter Jiffy peanut butter gets me every time.

2) You are so excited to be moving on and yet you want to stay at your house forever.

3) You are terrified that the class work will be too hard and that maybe, you chose the wrong major.

4) Conversely, you're afraid you'll never find the right major.

5) You are sad to be leaving your friends from high school, ready for new ones.

6) You hope your roommmate isn't from hell - especially those that have always had a bedroom to themselves.

7) You don't want to grow up, can't wait to.

Here's a little glismp at what's going on in my life right now as an example:

I found out my housing and roommate assignment yesterday. My roommate, from Minnesota, sounds amazing. However, I'm also terrified that our Facebook chats will be better than our interactions in person. She has a boyfriend coming with her to college. I'm terrified that I'm going to be a third wheel. Some of my fears are irrational, some aren't.

I am so ready to major in creative writing and history but I'm afraid I might be taking on too much. What if my passion, writing, isn't good enough for college? What if I'm not challenged? This is a huge one for me and history. I have never been challenged academically history wise during high school. History Day, yes, challenged me, but that was extracurricular.

I love my family more than anything in the world. But I've never spent more than a week apart from one of them. I'm afraid I'll be so homesick I won't want to continue with college...

I could go on forever.

The point is that I want YA authors to ask the teenagers around them - especially the graduated seniors. Ask them about college - what they're feeling. Part of the appeal, for me, in YA lit is that it's an escape, but also a learning experience.

I want to see a character struggle through this transition and come out on the right side of it - or even the wrong side. I want to see the anticipation and fear for college.

I am working on making my novel ready for querying sometime this summer. It needs about 10-30K more added to it which brings me to a curious question.

What's the difference between editing and rewriting? Opinions? Go ahead, post them. I'm curious as to your answer.

I think editing is the final tweaking - grammatical errors, spelling errors and realizing that your character changes eye color five times in the course of a 75,000 word novel. It's definitely an important step but it is not the first one.

I made that mistake with my first novel, Her Testament to Life, (which I'm currently rewriting). I edited first and then decided to rewrite. Basically I wasted a revision on my own stupidity. I suppose that's how it goes with writing. You learn after the fact.

Rewriting, I believe, is more substance. It's retooling scenes, characters, places. Fleshing out the novel if it needs it and then, when all the actual substance is there, then you can go and do the actual editing process.

It's suppose to be fifty on Monday. That's bikini weather in Iowa right now. And while I've probably all got people imagining pasty white Iowans running around in skimpy swimsuits, I am going to try and divert attention to my completed goals for the month.

My goal was to write 27,083 words. I wrote 27,093. And the last about 900 words of that was at 8:30 at night when I really should have been getting ready for school the next day.

What did my February writing include? This is a list - though not very detailed.

-Additions to Her Testament to Life
- The SOS scene
- Typing journal entries - both in the Keep Life Simple journal and the Pink Bird one.
- Portfolio work (Almost 10K total for the year.)
- 4 blog posts
- 2 co-written subplots
- The very beginning of a West Wing fanfiction
- 2 scholarship essays
- Annotated Bibliography and History Day paper (on Jane Austen)
- Public Address and Oratory for IHSSA Competition
- Sociology research and the beginnings of a paper
- 2 school pen pal letters
- 5 poems

Now that's a lot of writing. But it is also a lot of not writing. All but about 1600 words was not on novels. Granted, my school words have to be written no matter what happens. And WriYe counts them as words, so I count them too.

My portfolio needs things to show how I've improved and the journals are so I don't have to carry five pounds of journals with me wherever I move. Both of these last two things are part of my goals for the 2010 year.

But I also have a bigger goal. I want to start querying my first novel, Her Testament to Life before the end of the year. But first I have to get it to length and then go back and re-edit it. At the pace I'm going, it's going to take me over 407 days just to get the novel to length. Then there's editing.

So, this month, my goal is editing and I want the majority of my words (51% or higher) to be on either Her Testament to Life or Ruined Emotions, both of which are novels.

Here's to hoping this works because my novel desparately needs more meat to it.

According to my handy-dandy calculator, I am 11% done with the scenes I need to add to my novel, Her Testament to Life, to make it the 65,000 words I have been told Young Adult novels should be.

I'm having fun making these new scenes - so far I've written 3 new scenes and one extended, rewritten scene.

New Scenes:
- "The SOS Scene"
Amy and Claudia argue about school - Nate picks Claudia up after an SOS text, promising her a night to let everything fade away. Movies, breakfast food, bowling and lots of dialogue to ensue. (This one isn't completely finished.)

- "The New Death Scene"
Claudia with Nate just before she dies - making him promise to continue working at the clinic in her place.

- "The Confrontation Scene"
Former best friend, turned slight back-stabber, Anna, comes to visit Claudia to apologize. Mostly Claudia argues while Anna feels guilty.

Extended Scenes

- "The Telling the Friends Scene"
Claudia tells her two best friends, Anna and Cira, that she has leukemia - at a football game. Retaliation by Anna happens shortly after.

At first I was unsure of what I needed to add to my novel, but now I'm realizing just how much backstory and *real* story I need to add. I'm not sure how long it's going to take me to finish all the scenes and then put them in their places (right now they're in a file titled "Additions") but I think I like taking it slow. I think it'll turn out a better end product.

I have been occasionally re-examining my 2008 NaNoWriMo novel, Her Testament to Life, in hopes of getting it to the standard young adult novel length. Of course, that means I need to double it since it stands at a measly 32,000 words and I should be somewhere around 65,000. I've been at a loss for how to add depth and breadth to it...

Until now.

Sitting and working on my sociology project, I thought of a curious question, "What if Anna [my female main character's best friend] was furious at Claudia [my main character]? What would happen? And what if Claudia didn't tell her friends at a quiet coffee shop and instead told them at a football game where the entire school could find out. What happens if Anna can't deal with the cancer and so she spreads the truth about Claudia's condition? What would happen?

And enter in, my first ever sub-plot.

The sub-plot gives Anna, a previously very background character some depth and some nastiness to her. It allows her to take her own place in a cast that focuses almost exclusively on two people.

Knowing that I couldn't make a sub-plot last for 33,000 words, I got thinking about other characters. What about Mom? Katie, Cira (the other best friend), what about what Cira thinks of Anna's behavior? What about Claudia's sister, Amy? What about....

And so, knowing that I want more people to play a part in the novel, I feel I'll have a better chance of making the additions stronger and more meaningful than 33,000 words of descriptions, which, I believe, even Jane Austen couldn't do.

Total January Word Count: 33,183
Writing Files/Documents it took to get there: 20

My plan had been to work mainly on my novel, Ruined Emotions, and only have my History Day paper and annotated bibliography as padders. Well, that didn't happen.

And yet, I'm happy.

I got five books read - one book ahead of where I should be for eiie's 52 Book Year challenge.

I rocked at Speeech competition and am going to State competition this Saturday.

I managed to only have one or two mental breakdowns.

I applied to two scholarships.

& .... most importantly, I sent off my tutition deposit and Intent-To-Enroll form to Carroll University. My housing packet should be coming soon so then I'll be an official Carroll Pioneer.

All in all, it's been a good month. A fiasco, chaotic and maybe never want to do it again, but a good month nevertheless.