To Be Titled

Stories are Everywhere

2010-09-18T22:27:00.002-05:00

Returning from the depths of the college world, I bring you a sparkly new blog post.

The "instructional" book I am reading for Intro to Creative Writing said that writer's block does not exist because stories are everywhere.

While I disagree with that statement, it also makes me think.

Stories are everywhere.

Take the short story I had to write for my creative writing class. We were told it had to be between 7-20 pages long and there were two rules. Rule number one it had to be real events happening to real people (basically no genre fiction) and rule number two, nobody could die in the story.

Taking those rules I started thinking about what was going on in my own life. I thought about the possibility of a move to the opposite end (north-south) of the country. I thought about my Nana with Alzheimer's and her struggle as well as my Granddad's struggle in helping her. I thought of my Dad's feelings about leaving a community that has become our home even though we've wandered far and wide.

I thought about family and what it means to love someone. In thinking about that I thought about a father's decision in who he loves more: his daughter or his dying, soon to be incoherent mother.

And that's when it hit me. I had a story to write.

My life became that of Zoey's. Zoey became an estranged college student who only talked to her mother. My father became Steve, the man who wanted to give everything to his daughter and failed in the one way she needed him to excel. My Nana became Ruth Hutchings, the woman who needed her son but barely recognized him.

The problem then became, not writing it, but deciding how the story should go since it is so symbolic. Should Steve not move to Alabama to be closer to his mother? Should he keep trying to reconcile with his daughter? Should he do somewhere halfway? (In case you were wondering, it's an eleven hour drive from Huntsville, Alabama to my university.)

Where should the ending be? Should there be a common theme throughout the story?

Finally, I finished. It took me three days. 1 day for the first draft, a day of rest and then 1 day for the second, longer draft. My tying together thread was Zoey and Steve sitting together at the local football games, stuffing themselves with peanuts and explaining over and over and over the rules of football.

See, maybe Mooring was wrong in that there is no such thing as writer's block. But they were definitely right when they said Stories are EVERYWHERE!

Fitting it In

2010-09-01T19:56:00.002-05:00

I start four classes tomorrow. I'm taking a total of 4 four-hour classes and 1 one-hour class. This means lots of non-recreational reading and note-taking. This also means I have less time to write.

Which brings me to the question, how do you fit in writing? What do you do when you are super busy? Go ahead, leave a comment. :)

Right now, I haven't had a whole lot of time to write. I've been busy with orientation, First Year Seminar homework, meetings and other fun things that make you feel ridiculously awkward. (Like walking into Opening Convocation serenaded by a bagpiper.) I've been trying to type up some journal entries but even that has taken a back seat to gelato parties for a floor mate's birthday.

But, if I'm going to be honest, I haven't been writing because I haven't had the muse. My muse is dead. Like, it decided to move to New Zealand and then died bungy jumping while I was moving into college. So that was the falling feeling when we were driving up to my dorm!

I tried writing something tonight and it just... it felt forced. Which brings up another problem. I am getting to where if I want to finish my WriYe goal (325,000 words) I need to get 890 words a day. 890 forced words a day are going to be torture, especially if I have three chapters of FYS reading and a poem to write for Intro to Creative Writing.

I'm sure my muse will return but for now, I'm not forcing myself to find time to write (other than my nightly journaling). And so, when my muse returns, (please return please!) I will have a nice time of balancing.

Anyone else experience this? Let me know what you think.

Anticipation

2010-08-26T13:57:00.002-05:00

As I think about moving into college tomorrow, it makes me think of building the anticipation in a novel. In many ways, they are similar.

Preparing for college comes with ups and downs. The past week I've had thoughts that this cannot come soon enough. When I read a novel I think at times that I want to race through it, wanting to get towards to the end as quickly as I can have resolution, closure. I want the author to keep the suspense up so that I continue to experience the rush to the end of the book. It is one of the biggest letdowns to me when the author doesn't keep the adrenaline and the plot flowly quickly. It's like the author just gave up.

I've also had the experience of not ever wanting to leave for college. A good novel makes it so you never want to leave the world. It's one of the reasons series are so popular. Harry Potter, for example, has seven books for the reader to indulge in, live in the author's world.

A good book has a combination of adrenaline and never wanting to leave. It is just like getting ready for college. So hopefully, authors will think about their experiences leaving for college when they plot out their novel and the level of suspense in it.

Journaling

2010-08-18T22:50:00.002-05:00

I never travel without my diary.

One should always have something sensational to read on the train.

~ Oscar Wilde

Ever since the summer after my sixth grade year, I have journalled every night. This journaling habit has led me through a trans-Atlantic move, a sister away to college, a sister away to China, the hardships of high school, the decision to skip a grade... basically everything. In the span of thirteen journals, I have poured out my soul each and every night in addition to telling about how the day went.

I type up the entries as a way of keeping an electronic record of everything. However, I refuse to journal on a computer. First, because I have a love of smooth gel ink pens, and secondly, because there is nothing more soothing than pouring your heart out onto a page, not worrying about the circuit shorting when you cry on it. So, the electronic copies of my journals only serve as a smaller copy of the thirteen journals.

Every so often, I reread a particular journal to see what I was going through. I see the anguish I labored over my friends in seventh grade when I had the best friend in the world right there, unbeknowest to me. I see how I would obsess about asking that guy to the dance that nobody asked anyone to. That was just when I was starting out.

As I grew, my handwriting got better (I almost always write in cursive) and I thought I would learn eons about myself. Here's the thing - a relaxing habit does not lend itself to epiphanies unless one works at it.

I have to reread and reflect on my journals to really see the path I've travelled and how it can help me in the future. Reflecting allows me to see that I have already had one crazy life and I'm capable of handling much more than I ever thought possible. (My second year of high school should be a testament to this.)

I will start a new journal tomorrow night. And while I don't know how long it will take me to fill the pages or what it will contain, I do know I will come to it when things are good, when things are bad and when I am so confused I don't know what question to ask. Journaling has helped me become more introspective. Sometimes I think that's a bad thing. But then I remember, a little self reflection never hurt anyone.

Anyway, if I always travel with my journal and I record the funny moments in my life, I can always have a joke book with me. I can be like Oscar Wilde and have something sensational to read that is extremely personal.

Finally!

2010-08-01T19:16:00.002-05:00

I have been trying to find a writing/organizing program that works with how I write and my lack of planning. However, I also needed a program that would let me plan when I needed it.

With a little help from Nicole Humphrey Cook , I found StoryBook. StoryBook was more time-line based and aggravatingly annoying if you've already wrote the novel and just want to revise it. So, I decided to uninstall the program.

I tried writing on paper - asking questions of something I had already written. That didn't work either.

So, I laid off programs or writing novels for awhile. That was, until I looked back at Nicole's article. I had heard of Liquid Story Binder. I have writing friends who love it, swear by it. Some hate it too so I was a little cautious.

I downloaded it when I decided to completely rewrite the 2008 NaNo novel I wrote (the one I constantly talk about that is giving me trouble). I decided to first plan everything out and then write the novel semi-from scratch.

I tried Liquid Story Binder's outlining tool - I love it! I have found a program that works with how I write. It's amazing. It's fairly easy to use and has many features that I'm sure I'll find useful.

As I use LSB more, I'll let everyone know what I think about it and its different components. But for now, I'm in love.

Writing on the Computer

2010-07-26T16:36:00.002-05:00

I have been on the hunt for my college laptop the past two weeks. I'm not a gamer so I didn't need fancy graphics. I don't store music on my computer so I don't need loads of storage. What I needed was a laptop that worked with what Carroll wanted and could withstand me hitting the backspace key repetitively in anger.

What I found was that Best Buy (one of the only places I trusted) covered the ITS requirements quite easily. They said they only had two computers that didn't qualify. That helped but, also didn't.

Apparently, it's weird for someone to just want a computer for writing.

So I poked around, did some research and decided it didn't really matter as long as I felt comfortable with it.

Which, I suppose, is like all things with writing. Do it so that it makes you comfortable. If that means a Mac, so be it. If it means, for me, an HP, oh well.

What type of computer do you use for your writing? Do you love it? Hate it? Let me know.

Seven days without...

2010-07-19T15:19:00.003-05:00

Having my other half and getting re-addicted to E.R. can be fun, but also a strain on the writing relationship.

I do the majority of my writing on the family computer (some on iPod or on paper) since that's where my flashdrive is with my Master Files and my Excel Spreadsheet for my 2010 progress. The family computer, I might add, is downstairs, basically away from everything else except the junk room (the unfinished part of the basement). So that makes writing a pretty solitary activity.

It's been so nice having my sister home that I thought I would take a dy or two break from writing. That day or two stretched into a week. I still journaled at least one hundred words a night, as I always do, but I stayed away from heavy writing.

Today, I returned. My mind is refreshed. The plot bunnies have been silenced but that, actually, is wonderful. Now I can focus on one thing and not worry about having my attention diverted by the other muses.

This week break also allowed me to realize that I write because I love it. And when I'm forcing words (sorry JulNo) I'm not enjoying it. This should be an interesting experience in college, but I'm ready to get used to it. See, when I was not writing, I was thinking, "I should be writing." It was like an itch I couldn't scratch. Now, I'm back at it.

Albeit, slower this time. I will still try for my goal of 890 words a day, however, if I don't achieve that, I won't beat myself up.

Try a break sometime - you might find yourself more productive afterwards.

New Idea

2010-07-11T21:47:00.002-05:00

Fairly soon, I will be embarking on a new journey (no, not college) that I only have an inkling of where I am going.

I have a new novel idea. There isn't much too it right now. Here's what I have so far.

When the Day Met the Night

Main Female Character: Eliana
Main Male Character: Artemis, "Artie"

The two main characters are complete opposites. Artemis is named after the Greek goddess of the hunt/moon and Eliana's name means "daughter of the sun." So yes, slightly obvious, but nevertheless, fun.

I'm not exactly sure where this is going plot wise. I do know, there will be a very much "opposites attract" for Artie but not so much for Eliana. She's a bit of a flirt in my mind.

The idea of the story is slightly based on the song, When the Day Met the Night by Panic at the Disco.

Anyway, I shall let you all know when I have more!

The Million Words

2010-07-06T15:25:00.002-05:00

They say the first million words are practice.

For some participating in WriYe, and crazy enough to try it, those million words will come in a year. If you want to write a million words in one year that's... 2,740 words a day, every day. I have friends that could easily accomplish this.

However, not everyone is that prolific. For some, those million words of fiction (or creative nonfiction) may take years. David Hendrickson, a very successful published author, suggests it will probably take ten years.

Ten years.

That's a lot of time. That's a lot of commitment.

Last year I wrote 290,000 words. This year I am going for 325,000 words. Let's say you are more conservative. You go for 150,000 words a year - a reasonable goal. That takes down your million words to 6 and 2/3rds years.

But does it matter how long it takes to get there?

And who decided one million words was a good indicator of the quality of your writing?

Exactly.

Writing is about making yourself (and those pesky voices) happy. It's about fulfilling your goal to write something meaningful. Maybe some write for publication, but they don't have the right idea.

Writing, sure, can always be improved. Anyone going to a workshop, creative writing class or in an MFA knows this: your writing can always be improved. That does not mean that if I go out and write one million words next year and don't focus on anything in my writing, I will magically get better.

Writing for the sheer fact of getting your million words is stupid, honestly. You should write for you. If you want to improve, then do so. If you like your writing where you can't decide between 'gray' and 'grey' in a manuscript, fine. It's your writing.

Do with it what you like. And toss that million word goal out the window.

Getting to Know You

2010-07-03T19:30:00.002-05:00

I've always liked filling out character sheets, up until a point. Then, I realized how tedious they are. And yet, I am realizing how important they are.

My roommate and I have been Facebook chatting and emailing, finding out all the weird things about each other. This is way beyond what we look like and what our favorite colors are. We're telling each other our quirks (afraid of the sound of flushing toilets, thinking pickles are cucumbers soaked in evil to name a few [both are mine]), our fears (not being challenged) and weird things like our high school mascot and class size.

All of this is helping me get a better picture of Sarah. It's very random what questions come up. We've had questions from do you like jigsaw puzzles to what would you see in the Mirror of Erised. (Thank you J.K. Rowling for uniting the world!)

So next time you need to do a character sheet, don't think of it as tedious work. Think of it as a conversation between you and your character, letting it take off in whatever way you want, as long as you get some answers.

Lack of college in YA Lit

2010-07-01T13:50:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I love reading YA Lit as a teenager because they get it right. And sometimes they don't...

One thing I have never gotten a proper feeling for in a YA book is the mixed emotions about college. I mean, there have been undertones of college in one of my favorites - Along for the Ride by Sarah Dessen - but never as the main theme.

Here's what I know about going to college, as a senior who graduated this Spring. Some of these are generalizations but many are experienced by myself, my friends and family.

1) You will cry at sappy family commercials. The one about a mom sending her daughter Jiffy peanut butter gets me every time.

2) You are so excited to be moving on and yet you want to stay at your house forever.

3) You are terrified that the class work will be too hard and that maybe, you chose the wrong major.

4) Conversely, you're afraid you'll never find the right major.

5) You are sad to be leaving your friends from high school, ready for new ones.

6) You hope your roommmate isn't from hell - especially those that have always had a bedroom to themselves.

7) You don't want to grow up, can't wait to.

Here's a little glismp at what's going on in my life right now as an example:

I found out my housing and roommate assignment yesterday. My roommate, from Minnesota, sounds amazing. However, I'm also terrified that our Facebook chats will be better than our interactions in person. She has a boyfriend coming with her to college. I'm terrified that I'm going to be a third wheel. Some of my fears are irrational, some aren't.

I am so ready to major in creative writing and history but I'm afraid I might be taking on too much. What if my passion, writing, isn't good enough for college? What if I'm not challenged? This is a huge one for me and history. I have never been challenged academically history wise during high school. History Day, yes, challenged me, but that was extracurricular.

I love my family more than anything in the world. But I've never spent more than a week apart from one of them. I'm afraid I'll be so homesick I won't want to continue with college...

I could go on forever.

The point is that I want YA authors to ask the teenagers around them - especially the graduated seniors. Ask them about college - what they're feeling. Part of the appeal, for me, in YA lit is that it's an escape, but also a learning experience.

I want to see a character struggle through this transition and come out on the right side of it - or even the wrong side. I want to see the anticipation and fear for college.

National History Day

2010-06-25T13:49:00.002-05:00

A break from writing related topics to talk about something I'm truly passionate about: National History Day.

I have competed in National History Day since I was a sixth grader. However, it wasn't until I moved to Iowa (after seventh grade) that I began to realize how important History Day was. My eighth grade Humanities class required me to write and research a topic on the Civil War. My teacher wanted ten sources - only two could come from the Internet. Everyone complained. I knew how to do it. It was nothing.

My junior year paper on Oscar Wilde, went to Nationals with 108 sources, an interview with a professor who wrote a book on Oscar Wilde and some of the best writing I've ever done. My senior year paper on Jane Austen made third in the state of Iowa. It was succinct (word limit: 2,500 words) and well-written. I am a fiction writer, however, I am not ashamed to say my Jane Austen paper, entitled, "'Only a Novel?': Jane Austen's Innovations for the Romantic Novel", is my best written work.

But History Day has not just taught me to research and write papers. Although I'm so happy I have these skills for entering college, that's not it.

National competition involves competitors from every state, DoDDS-E, Shanghai, China, Guam, the American Samoa and and even some Canadians that sneak in through Shanghai. You get about 2,000 kids together who are passionate about history and some sparks fly.

History Day makes me take my learning into my own hands. I want to know all about how polio was eradicated? Fine, that will be my topic. Want to know why Oscar Wilde was thrown into prison (it was illegal to be gay at the time) I can research it. At History Day you chose topics that interest you and then you take off.

Not only are you making history personal to you, but you're also getting personal. I love the people part of history. I want to know, "What did they think? How did they overcome [insert event here]." I want to know about the people and their emotions. History Day allows me to do this. It lets me get close to the person, so to speak. I would have never known about what Roosevelt thought personally, of the United Nations, had I not done History Day. I wouldn't have known that Jane Austen was a snarky person.

History Day has taught me so much - to research, to ask questions, to write well, to find both sides of the story. It's taught me to be outgoing with finding what I need to find to answer those questions I have. It's taught me about thesis, teamwork and hard work.

However, History Day in Iowa is in a bit of a pickle. The major funder of National History Day in Iowa, has decided to drop their support. I ask, even if it's just your time, to help History Day. I wouldn't be the person I am without this program. One thing offered every competition are special awards. For example, my Jane Austen paper won the "Outstanding Entry in Literary History." If you're passionate about an aspect of history, consider giving a special award.

If anyone has any questions about History Day and what it is, either follow the link above (to the National History Day contest site) or comment a question. I'm more than willing to help out in whatever way I can.

Also, here below are links to donate to the National History Day contest and the National History Day in Iowa.

Why Support History Day? (National Contest)

Getting Involved (Iowa History Day)

I thank everyone ahead of time. You are the ones who will keep this amazing program alive.

Rereading for Fun

2010-06-11T13:39:00.002-05:00

I am working hard on the list of 1001 Books to Read Before you Die. So far I've gotten 35 or so read with a goal to read 15 more this summer. Slow progress, most definitely, but when the books are War and Peace, Doctor Zhivalgo and Gone with the Wind one can understand why they take a while to complete.

I am also suppose to be reading All about Dreams by Gayle Delaney for my Honors First Year Seminar on Sleep.

What book did I just finish reading today? Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling.

Yep, I'm not doing my required reading (yet! I have to order the book) or books off the 1001 Books to Read Before You Die. I'm rereading the Harry Potter series.

Is that a bad thing? No, actually I think it's good to go back and reread old books and here's why:

You realize what works in a story when you already know the plot
You pick up on little, minute things you missed reading it the second (or hundredth) time
You know you'll enjoy the book so you get more out of it.

While I'm in DC with National History Day I'll be reading Tess of the D'Urbervilles because Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire doesn't fit in my suitcase. But when I get back, the series will be there to great me and welcome me like an old friend.

What are your favorite books to reread; the ones you'll put down anything required just so you can read them?

Graduation - Writing Related

2010-06-03T19:20:00.008-05:00

Although it was less than a week ago, I barely remember anything of the three speaker's speeches. One was about how I didn't plagarize the speech so you shouldn't plagarize your life. Don't ask me what the others were about.

But as I sat, dripping in sweat, listening to speeches I wouldn't remember, I thought about how that related to books and writing.

How many books have I read that I couldn't remember the title or the plot? They weren't memorable. It doesn't mean they weren't good; it just means that they didn't have something to capture my mind and put some tidbit into my long term memory.

Harry Potter for example - I will always remember the scene where Sirius dies in the book. Maybe because of the imagery, maybe because I love the book and Sirius the character. (I named a fish after him, after all.)

I think it's every author's dream that their books will be remembered forever. And it presents a challenge. How do you do that?

Personally, I think you do it with emotions and imagery. What do you think?

Getting Back to the Beginning

2010-05-25T15:48:00.002-05:00

Currently Reading: The Tale of Genji (Volume 1) by Murasaki Shikibu

Current Writing Project: Outlining, Questioning, Back to the Characters of Her Testament to Life

My NaNo 2008 has been causing me endless problems. When I first edited, the manuscript went from 60,000 words to 30,000 words. I never realized how much dribble I put in there until I started cutting it out. West Wing rants, talks about whether Kiwis really like being called Kiwis and if was really just a British attempt at making fun of those from New Zealand. Seriously, some days during that month I just wrote dribble.

It is my goal for that manuscript to see a literary agent before the year ends. 220 days left, according to the newspaper. I know I've mentioned it before, but a young adult novel should be about 65,000 words. And that's where my problem came.

I needed to add 35,000 words that wasn't drabble. I tried thinking of scenes but that wasn't linear and they ended up in a file named "Additions" that just sat and sat.

So I reached out to the friendly people at WriYe. I started asking questions - how do you define a scene? How do you make a proper timeline? Is a timeline a substitution for a plot outline? How in-depth do your character sketches need to be? Is it important to know things like if your Main Character (MC) likes oranges or is it more important to know they can't stand the sound of chewig?

As I got answers I realized that being a pantser (working without an outline) may work for my History Day papers and other school papers but it's not going to work with my novel.

And now, I've got to get back to the beginning. I need to re-examine what I have written, what questions are in my mind when reading it so I can answer them. I need to relearn every little detail about my characters so that when I'm writing about them, it's like they are an extension of myself, not something my mind is making up on the spot. In the end, I think it will make the book more consistant.

Here's to getting back to the beginning, almost like I had never written the novel before.

When you have to add significant wordage and don't know where or what needs to be added, what do you do?

Feeling Accomplished

2010-05-15T19:07:00.003-05:00

Putting things into prospective I realized a few things this week.

There will always be better writers than me.
That does not mean I am a bad writer. -- It just means I have more to learn

I have written a novel. That is more than most can say.
I am proud of my novel. Even if Her Testament to Life never sees the light of a bookstore, I am proud of it.

I may never publish. And somehow, I think I'm okay with that. Because....

I have a huge amount of passion for the writing I do. I put my heart and soul into my writing.

Fan fiction is not a worthless pursuit because it teaches me how to build plot with characters I already know.

Sometimes you have to take a step back from your writing to see what is really important to you.

Writing will always be there - even if Real Life tells you it won't if you can't write x number of words every day.

I can learn and while I may be stubborn, I am willing to learn.

And while the publishing blues may hit me every once in awhile, just knowing I'm a writer who is proud of her own work, is an accomplishment in itself.

Opinions? What makes you feel accomplished?

What They Neglect to Tell You: YA Authors

2010-05-09T18:19:00.002-05:00

As both a Young Adult writer and a high school student, I know what the other, published, authors are talking about. I understand the drama of a first love and the pressures of school work. However, I believe YA authors leave some parts out of their novels.

Finals: The stress of finals is something every high schooler has to deal with, and yet, is rarely mentioned in YA books. Why is that?

Prom: God, someone could write a book just on the prom drama llamas. This is another topic I don't see written about as much.

The cliches of high school: We, as high schoolers, are not trying to be cliched. We're just trying to be the best people we can be under the circumstances. Ask a freshman in my high school what popularity is and they'll say "having lots of friends." By the time they're a senior they'll say popularity is "over-rated."

Honestly, I wish sometimes a YA author would take the time to let their own high school experiences guide them. We still struggle with the same things - for example, my high school is known for its drinking and every year we lose someone to drunk driving (normally around graduation). We still worry about getting into college. And there's still loads of drama.

Two of my favorite authors, Laurie Halse Anderson and Sarah Dessen, focus on the teenage psyche. And they do a wonderful job. But there are parts still missing.

And if someone were to tell me this wasn't good fiction I woud have to remind them, "This is our lives. We're experiencing this drama and stress and life. So don't forget to put it in because you think it doesn't make good fiction." I want to see a teenager I can relate to in a YA book. And when they not only struggle with the aftermath of their rape (Speak or Just Listen for example) but with dates to prom or finals.

"Plot Surgery"

2010-04-22T16:33:00.002-05:00

A favorite tweet of mine came across my screen today: "I'll be in plot surgery all afternoon."

It was an interesting comment which made me think of my own novel.

My NaNoWriMo 2008 novel has turned into a dragging project I never thought it would be. I never understood how much junk I wrote during a WriMo until I was editing that baby. I went from 65,000 words to a litte less than 30,000. A marketable novel for Young Adult, I've been told, is about 80,000.

So I knew I needed to add more to my novel. I started a new Open Office file called "Additions" and just started writing scenes, figuring I'd add them in later. Now, I'm realizing that isn't going to work. I am never going to get the extra 50K I need by doing that.

Therefore, I know I need to take the Twitter author's suggestion - have plot surgery. Realize where the gaping holes are and stitch them closed. Maybe then the vital organs will survive.

Books, Books, Books!

2010-04-19T17:31:00.002-05:00

The book postings for my Intro to Creative Writing class are up. I've got to buy four books ranging in price from $10.00 to $35.75 in addition to the other books my other professors haven't announced.

Regardless of the fact I'm going to have to pay quite a pretty penny for my books to be without highlighting, I'm so excited.

I love textbooks that interest me. So sorry Mr. Newmeister, that doesn't mean I voluntarily read that Biology textbook.

And part of my obsession (healthy? I have no clue) with books is that I can't mark them up. I feel like I'm damaging something sacred. Even when I really needed to highlight things for my cultural anthropology class two years ago, I had issues. It didn't matter I wasn't going to keep the book. I thought that I was defacing a book.

So now, as a to-be college freshman I wonder - how does one get over this? Can you actually get over this feeling or do you just have to feel everytime you put the pen (or highlighter) to paper that you are damaging something precious, almost like a little soul?

The Drama Llamas in YA

2010-04-17T15:32:00.004-05:00

It is prom season in the high school world. While the girls have had their dresses for months, suddenly it's a mad dash to get shoes, accessories, figure out how to do their hair and what color to paint both nails and toenails. And if we females weren't obsessed enough with appearance, there's the date aspect. It's enough to drive someone mad.

For all writers of YA who aren't a young adult themselves, take a look at prom. Ask a senior girl about prom planning and you could get half an hour on what she thinks, is feeling and is worried about. Prom introduces a whole new set of drama llamas into the household. For the girl seniors, this is the event they'll probably remember for the rest of their life (or want to forget) and they want everything to be perfect. Prom comes with the sudden realization that graduation is only three weeks away and then it's off into the real world (or something slightly like it - college).

It's a scary, fun and emotion-filled time.

So next time a YA author wants to make their novel realistic, talk to a girl about senior prom. Take those bouncing, struggling emotions. Take those drama llamas and drag them home to live with you while you write the novel.

Both the girl and the novel readers will appreciate you.

Soccer As It Applies to Writing

2010-04-08T20:12:00.002-05:00

Sitting, freezing with a dead camera battery at a varsity soccer match tonight, I realized a few things about writing that also pertain to soccer (at least at my high school).

* The Crowds
While soccer is a popular sport to play at the high school level, it is not well-attended. At the soccer game I went to, it was all parents or siblings. Unlike football where people will weather 20 degree weather and sleet, nobody shows up for the bad weather during soccer season.
In the same way, writing can be a very lonely profession. Many people don't "get" writing or why you would want to make a career out of it. And when those sleeting days come, it gets even harder. Ever met someone who told you to just "write" when you had writer's block? Ever want to hit them over the head? (They may have a point but that's a different point for a different post.) Writing is spent not in collaboration but in the room with a locked door without anyone - including the cat or dog depending on your level of distraction tolerance.

* The Rules
Just when you think who the call was for in soccer, the ref changes it. Of course, the parents get outraged and the players want to talk back to the refs. There's lots of internal and external yelling.
The publishing world is like that. You think you know all the rules and they go and change them. Two spaces after a period? One? Courier or Times New Roman? E-query or SASE? And that isn't even getting into tenses, point of view or the nitty gritty writing aspects.

* The Exhaustion
High school soccer is two forty minute halves, FIFA World Cup is 60 minute halves. And soccer has very few substitutions leaving the players dead after a game. It's a game of endurance, to say the least.
Writing requires just as much endurance - if not more. But it's a different kind of endurance. You have to have the ability to get through a novel, a short story, a poem - to see it through until the end where it's either a well-edited piece for yourself or a published piece in some form. You have to be able to know that there can be times when you get ahead of yourself and then promptly run out of steam because of overwriting. Like any endurance athlete learns, you have to pace yourself.

* The Yellow (or Red) Cards
A yellow card is kind of like a warning for players. Two yellow cards and they're out. One red card and they're definitely out.
Writing has its own yellow and red cards. Maybe they come in the form of someone trusted saying a piece is unressurectable and you don't listen, ignoring their advice. That's a yellow card. The biggest offense for writers, at least in my opinion? There's two.
1) Sending queries that are badly written or sent to an inappropriate place (or both *cringe).
2) Not staying true to what your writing style is - while always knowing you can improve.

So maybe come this June when the FIFA World Cup comes on in South Africa, you'll see more than just soccer. Maybe you'll see your own little writing world.

Bookshelf

2010-04-05T15:45:00.003-05:00

Every so often I will go through my bookshelf to see what books would be better served at the library or the Book Rack. I love my books but sometimes I realize I don't need as many.

I started with two large oak bookcases full (5th grade) and now I am down to one row. Yes, that's right. One row not including my journals or writing help books.

About 3/4 of that row is taken up by both the Harry Potter and Laura Ingalls Wilder collections that I refuse to get rid of. The others are a (tiny) mixture of Sarah Dessen, Laurie Halse Anderson, Ann Rinaldi and a few others.

As a writer, I should, according to popular belief, hoard books. Love them, adore them, do nothing short of build an altar for them.

And yet, it is very therapeutic to only have maybe 20 books. Especially since I can't take all my books to college. Plus, having less books makes me truly examine why I like certain book and why they are my favorites - always something I believe a writer should do.

So what else is on my bookshelf?

On the top, top are two pillows I made, a stuffed lamb animal from my grandmother's preschool days (when she taught, and my American Girl doll.

The next two rows are cards from friends and family, reminding me I'm loved.

Then comes a row of books.

Then comes my CDs, writing books and journals.

On the bottom floor are my portfolio or reference binders and some index cards.

Regardless, I don't think the bookshelf is the important part - it's the knowledge imparted by the books.

The 3 A.M. Epiphany Review

2010-03-30T15:36:00.003-05:00

The 3 A.M. Epiphany - Brian Kiteley

Brian Kiteley, a professor at the University of Denver's Creative Writing PhD program, gives writers 201 writing exercises in several different categories to are pledged to "transform your fiction."

The exercises are split into 20 sections:

-Point of View

- Images

- Characters and Waysof Seeing

- Women and Men

- Children and Childhood

- Conversation

- Thought and Emotion

- Biography and Autobiograhpy

- Time

- History

- Description

- Sentences - Butting up against each other

- Other People's Sentences

- Play and Games

- Sports

-Work

- Humor

- Travel

- Internal Structure

- Exercises for Stories in Progress

Each exercise ranges from 600 to 1,000 words to keep the details short and each one meaningful. While Kiteley advises not to use these as an extension of a work in progress, I find them useful for new ways at looking at scenes to be written or needing to be rewritten in my works in progress.

For example, I did the first exercise (they can be done in any order), The Reluctant I, where you are suppose to write a story fragment from the first person point of view while only using personal pronouns (I, me, my, mine) twice. It was a challenge but it made me realize there are times I don't need to use I, me, my or mine and yet I do.

Kiteley's book has given me a new look at certain aspects of writing and has also given me prompts for when it's a dry day.

I would recommend the book to anyone - it's a creative mix and there's definitely something for everyone in there.

Wealth of Knowledge?

2010-03-26T17:33:00.003-05:00

On Wednesday I took a foreign language placement test at my University. I was thinking I would test into 201 (hopefully 202) Spanish. That's third (or fourth) semester Spanish. After all, I had four years as a Spanish student and almost a year of helping a Spanish teacher. I thought I would be covered.

I tested into second semester Spanish.

So I decided to take German for my foreign language requirement which wasn't going to bother me since I wanted to take it anyway.

Okay, so where's the lesson?

Don't over estimate your knowledge. Things get harder as time passes. Don't believe that you can get by with just what you're doing now. You have to constantly improve; to make yourself better each time you try.

But most importantly, understand that there is no way in which you can know everything. I know I can never know everything about living in Germany (something I know a lot about) and because of that, it not only has made me humble, but it has also made me more wise. Because only when you can admit you don't know everything, do you know something more.

So keep learning. It'll come in handy.

And if you ever take BYU's foreign language placement test, don't expect anything other than grammar. :)

Tweet, Tweet

2010-03-18T19:02:00.002-05:00

Completely lacking in inspiration for writing today, I decided to spend more than my usual five minutes on Twitter.

I subscribe to several author/agent/writing guru's feeds. Some, like Elizabeth Craig are very prolific, offering links to other writing blogs or sites with information on every topic under the sun writing related. It's useful, but also overwhelming.

I might have learned a lot from people's Twitter feed about writing, I also wonder at what point should I stop looking at every link. When does this good, helpful, information get to be too much? And what do I do if two tweets disagree with each other.

Sure, I like to learn by reading - that's who I am. But this is one of those times I need to take a snippet of advice and go after it myself. I might not know where every comma needs to go, but I'll learn through trial and error.

And doesn't that make it more meaningful anyway?

Without a Parent

2010-03-17T15:52:00.002-05:00

I always found the stories of a chld who had to take care of other children because a parent was absent. I understood alcholics, druggies and occasionally, the death of another spouse.

What I couldn't understand was workaholics.

Why couldn't they let things go from their job so that they could spend time with their kids? When did it become more important to have a job than to love and cherish your children?

In recent experiences, I have learned not only what it truly means to be a workaholic, but also how it affects the kids. They are forced to grow up way too soon. They are the ones picking up perscriptions, dropping off the library books, making dinner and school. And those are the ones who are only children or have older siblings away.

It's even worse for those with younger siblings. They not only have the responsibilities dropped of errands and dinner but the actual job of parenting. It's a huge task to ask of anyone - and its ginormous for a teenager who doesn't have the choice or the option to say no.

It all makes sense - and I may now be able to write about it. But that doesn't mean I wanted those experiences for anyone.

What experiences have made it easier for you to write about but you never wish on anyone?

Editing vs. Rewriting

2010-03-09T17:27:00.004-06:00

I am working on making my novel ready for querying sometime this summer. It needs about 10-30K more added to it which brings me to a curious question.

What's the difference between editing and rewriting? Opinions? Go ahead, post them. I'm curious as to your answer.

I think editing is the final tweaking - grammatical errors, spelling errors and realizing that your character changes eye color five times in the course of a 75,000 word novel. It's definitely an important step but it is not the first one.

I made that mistake with my first novel, Her Testament to Life, (which I'm currently rewriting). I edited first and then decided to rewrite. Basically I wasted a revision on my own stupidity. I suppose that's how it goes with writing. You learn after the fact.

Rewriting, I believe, is more substance. It's retooling scenes, characters, places. Fleshing out the novel if it needs it and then, when all the actual substance is there, then you can go and do the actual editing process.

Brrr! February Update

2010-03-02T16:35:00.003-06:00

It's suppose to be fifty on Monday. That's bikini weather in Iowa right now. And while I've probably all got people imagining pasty white Iowans running around in skimpy swimsuits, I am going to try and divert attention to my completed goals for the month.

My goal was to write 27,083 words. I wrote 27,093. And the last about 900 words of that was at 8:30 at night when I really should have been getting ready for school the next day.

What did my February writing include? This is a list - though not very detailed.

-Additions to Her Testament to Life
- The SOS scene
- Typing journal entries - both in the Keep Life Simple journal and the Pink Bird one.
- Portfolio work (Almost 10K total for the year.)
- 4 blog posts
- 2 co-written subplots
- The very beginning of a West Wing fanfiction
- 2 scholarship essays
- Annotated Bibliography and History Day paper (on Jane Austen)
- Public Address and Oratory for IHSSA Competition
- Sociology research and the beginnings of a paper
- 2 school pen pal letters
- 5 poems

Now that's a lot of writing. But it is also a lot of not writing. All but about 1600 words was not on novels. Granted, my school words have to be written no matter what happens. And WriYe counts them as words, so I count them too.

My portfolio needs things to show how I've improved and the journals are so I don't have to carry five pounds of journals with me wherever I move. Both of these last two things are part of my goals for the 2010 year.

But I also have a bigger goal. I want to start querying my first novel, Her Testament to Life before the end of the year. But first I have to get it to length and then go back and re-edit it. At the pace I'm going, it's going to take me over 407 days just to get the novel to length. Then there's editing.

So, this month, my goal is editing and I want the majority of my words (51% or higher) to be on either Her Testament to Life or Ruined Emotions, both of which are novels.

Here's to hoping this works because my novel desparately needs more meat to it.

4/35

2010-02-21T16:02:00.004-06:00

According to my handy-dandy calculator, I am 11% done with the scenes I need to add to my novel, Her Testament to Life, to make it the 65,000 words I have been told Young Adult novels should be.

I'm having fun making these new scenes - so far I've written 3 new scenes and one extended, rewritten scene.

New Scenes:
- "The SOS Scene"
Amy and Claudia argue about school - Nate picks Claudia up after an SOS text, promising her a night to let everything fade away. Movies, breakfast food, bowling and lots of dialogue to ensue. (This one isn't completely finished.)

- "The New Death Scene"
Claudia with Nate just before she dies - making him promise to continue working at the clinic in her place.

- "The Confrontation Scene"
Former best friend, turned slight back-stabber, Anna, comes to visit Claudia to apologize. Mostly Claudia argues while Anna feels guilty.

Extended Scenes

- "The Telling the Friends Scene"
Claudia tells her two best friends, Anna and Cira, that she has leukemia - at a football game. Retaliation by Anna happens shortly after.

At first I was unsure of what I needed to add to my novel, but now I'm realizing just how much backstory and *real* story I need to add. I'm not sure how long it's going to take me to finish all the scenes and then put them in their places (right now they're in a file titled "Additions") but I think I like taking it slow. I think it'll turn out a better end product.

Poetry

2010-02-16T14:10:00.005-06:00

In my college Humanities class we decided to get away from non-fiction and spend a week on poetry. In came the poetry bug.

However, I didn't want to kill the bug with just any old free-verse poetry (what I used to write as a sixth grader with very little knowledge of poetry.) So, I visited Shadow Poetry to see what types of poems were out there. I wanted to stay away from types I knew - so cinquain, free-verse, monorhyme and a few others were out. Haiku was briefly considered before given up.

I chose five different types since that seemed like a good number at the time. I chose, Ethereee, Naani, Ghazal, Laturne, and Quinzaine. Most were syllabic (lines based on the number of syllables in the words) but one - my favorite, I've decided - Ghazal, uses a specific reptition pattern.

So to make this a little less complex...

Ethereee: A poem consisting of ten lines where the lines go 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 syllables. There are inverses of these which go 10,9,8 etc, but I stuck with the original. My version was on friendship.

Nanni: A quartet (four line stanza) generally consisting of 20-25 lines total. This one I wrote on courage.

Ghazal: A poem with the rhyming scheme: AA bA cA dA eA

(Ex: La de da de do
He he ha ha do

Le loo mee ma me
to le te do)

I wrote this one on writing - using the repeating word shh!

Lanturne: A five-line verse with the syllables like this:
One
Two
Three
Four
One

This one was on lying.

Quinzaine: A poem where the first line is 7 syllables and makes a statement, the second line is 5 syllables, the third line is 3 syllables and both the second and third line ask questions about the first.
This one was on a gorgeous morning.

I might post them later - we'll see how it goes.

Getting a Platform

2010-02-14T16:48:00.002-06:00

On a writing site I am on, Stringing Words, a friend recommended creating something I'm going to call a platform. It is using social networking and blogging sites to get information out there about your writing, your newest project. Because when you're active in the blogging/Tweeting/Facebook-ing world, then people notice you. And when people start to notice you, then, at least in my opinion, there will be good things to come from that.

So, having very little experience in publishing but quite a bit of experience in Social Networking (I am a teenager after all!), I decided to start my own platform. Nothing spectacular, just something that might attract someone who wants to be a beta reader, or crossing my fingers I ever get published, a buying reader.

So my Twitter account Ann_Abney, now has been devoted to writing and reading related posts. And I'm making a commitment to post on it at least once a day (provided I have internet access). My blog will become more writing centered as I go on and again, I'm making a commitment to post on it once a week.

Now, am I putting the cart before the horse? Probably. But I think that getting people interested in your writing should come before publishing. Because if you have people interested in that next chapter, you're more likely to write it, and write it well. And sometimes, as I've found, the beauty of writing and its complements comes not from an offer from a publisher, but from the normal person who says, "Keep up the good work. I like how you wrote this."

Sub-plot dancing

2010-02-13T17:38:00.003-06:00

I have been occasionally re-examining my 2008 NaNoWriMo novel, Her Testament to Life, in hopes of getting it to the standard young adult novel length. Of course, that means I need to double it since it stands at a measly 32,000 words and I should be somewhere around 65,000. I've been at a loss for how to add depth and breadth to it...

Until now.

Sitting and working on my sociology project, I thought of a curious question, "What if Anna [my female main character's best friend] was furious at Claudia [my main character]? What would happen? And what if Claudia didn't tell her friends at a quiet coffee shop and instead told them at a football game where the entire school could find out. What happens if Anna can't deal with the cancer and so she spreads the truth about Claudia's condition? What would happen?

And enter in, my first ever sub-plot.

The sub-plot gives Anna, a previously very background character some depth and some nastiness to her. It allows her to take her own place in a cast that focuses almost exclusively on two people.

Knowing that I couldn't make a sub-plot last for 33,000 words, I got thinking about other characters. What about Mom? Katie, Cira (the other best friend), what about what Cira thinks of Anna's behavior? What about Claudia's sister, Amy? What about....

And so, knowing that I want more people to play a part in the novel, I feel I'll have a better chance of making the additions stronger and more meaningful than 33,000 words of descriptions, which, I believe, even Jane Austen couldn't do.

January Round-up

2010-01-31T15:07:00.003-06:00

Total January Word Count: 33,183
Writing Files/Documents it took to get there: 20

My plan had been to work mainly on my novel, Ruined Emotions, and only have my History Day paper and annotated bibliography as padders. Well, that didn't happen.

And yet, I'm happy.

I got five books read - one book ahead of where I should be for eiie's 52 Book Year challenge.

I rocked at Speeech competition and am going to State competition this Saturday.

I managed to only have one or two mental breakdowns.

I applied to two scholarships.

& .... most importantly, I sent off my tutition deposit and Intent-To-Enroll form to Carroll University. My housing packet should be coming soon so then I'll be an official Carroll Pioneer.

All in all, it's been a good month. A fiasco, chaotic and maybe never want to do it again, but a good month nevertheless.

China series: On Hostel Life

2010-01-03T13:29:00.002-06:00

Hostels can range from hotels with communal bathrooms to dorm-like rooms that allow you to meet potentially five other people.

The first hostel I stayed in was Wangfujing International Hostel. It's like a hotel where people keep to themselves, even in the rooms. The bathrooms all had Western toliets which was nice. Although, one can't avoid a squat pot forever.

The second hostel, Shuyuan, in Xi'an, was more of a "hostel." People hung out in the bar and resturant talking, laughing and inevitably, drinking. This one was my favorite. The staff was exceptionally helpful and I felt at home.

Apparently, so did one roommate, who my sister and I named, Sir Sleeps a Lot. He would be asleep eighteen to twenty hours a day.

We also had Sir Butterfingers who would wake us up every morning at seven when he dropped everything possible.

Lastly, we splurged in Beijing at the Emperor's Guesthouse for a two-person room. This hostel was like a cross between the first and the second - you could find people but if you wanted to be left alone, you could do that too.

Honestly, hostels are great, cheap places to stay. They come with their own quirks, but that is just to be expected.

China series: On Public Transportation

2010-01-03T12:48:00.003-06:00

The Beijing subway is notoriously crowded. (Yes, even at three in the afternoon on a Sunday.) The majority of the stops don't have escalators and good luck trying to find an elevator. China's public transport is hopeless for those wheelchair or even crutches bound.

Taxis are cheaper in cities other than Beijing where fares start at 10 yuan at go up by 2 yuan a unit (I believe by kilometers). There won't be a place to buckle your seatbelt and extremely few drivers speak English. It will be a slightly crazy ride since almost no one obeys traffic laws and horns are normal sounds. In fact, ambulance sirens are disregarded more than taxi horns.

Bus quality varies though fares are usually one yuan. In some cities, they won't come to a complete stop. General operating procedure is to get on in the front and exit in the middle. There is no such thing as a fire code so the buses can be so full you can't move to get off.

Trains are generally half an hour late and filled with people. Hard seats may be the best price but it also means people can pack around you. Sleepers are decent though it helps to take a sleeping aid if you really want to sleep.

There are bicycle ride things called "tuk-tuks" but the seats are small. However, they are authentic.

While queueing might be commonplace in the airport, never expect it on public transportation. There is nothing wrong with elbowing because you will be elbowed in return.

China series: On Flying to and from China

2010-01-03T12:25:00.003-06:00

Depending on where you start from, a flight to China can take 10.5 hours to almost 14. (Definitely more if you have connecting flights, ect.)

The plane ride to China is about 99.5% Chinese and .5 non-Chinese (at least, in both cases my family has experienced.) Regarless, announcements are made first in English and there may only be one flight attendant fluent in Chinese.

Entertaining yourself can be difficult depending on what you consider entertainment. Movies are generally okay though there's a limited selection - especially if you return the same month you left. Personally, I enjoy the map feature to know how long I've been on the plane, how much longer to go and maps. I also read (it's got to be a thick book to keep me occupied the entire time) and journal.

On the flight there, if you are in the back of the plane, expect the Asian meal option to be out. Also be prepared to have something to eat or drink every 4 or so hours. At times it's annoying because you don't want to have junk on your tray table constantly.

Chinese customs/ immigration can be scary with surgical masks and lack of non-authoritative ways. However, generally if you follow the instructions you will be fine. It's kind of a show - one for a good purpose - but a show.

It's helpful to have your passport with you for the beginning of the flight for when you fill out the forms (one you have to keep to leave China) because all of them require your passport number.

At the airport, expect people to queue but don't be shocked if they don't.

European Churches = China?

2009-12-27T01:27:00.000-06:00

In less than a week, I will be back in the United States and won't see my sister again until February. It's amazing how quickly the time has flown. And yet, time has also dragged on.

By the end of the first week I was not happy. I wanted to be back in the U.S. more than I wanted to spend time with my sister. Now, I take just about everything with a grain of salt (or spit in the Chinese custom).

I will start my teaching of American customs and my life in American hopefully tomorrow depending on what time we will get in on the train from Xi'an. I, personally, can't wait because it gives me something to do other than read massive amounts of fan fiction or read The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand for a scholarship.

But right now, we're in Xi'an. It's a very walkable city - thankfully. I was happy to find it so much different than Beijing where I didn't have a great experience. Xi'an is quieter (if you can call it quiet), cleaner and much more people friendly - although the lack of non-expensive resturants can be slightly frustrating.

That being said, there isn't much to see in Xi'an. The Bell and Drum Towers are in the center of town (quite literally for the first one) and other than the Muslim quarter - there isn't much to see in town. The Terra Cotta Warriors are about an hour by bus and while I am happy to have seen them, you need an imagination to imagine people building them. Thankfully, I have one!

It's been a love/hate experience with China and now, instead of saying that it was good to see my sister, I can say that it was an experience. Because that's what is has been. It's been something I will remember forever, and also not want to experience again. It's weird but also so completely normal. In a way, it is like when we would visit millions of churches in Europe. I would say, "Oh, that's a cool church," but then I wouldn't want to return. China has been like that for me.

Later, I'll talk about hostel life - when I get the chance. For now, someone wants the computer.

Trig and Chemistry

2009-12-20T07:34:00.003-06:00

I taught for the first time the other day. A lesson that I thought would take at least twenty minutes took maybe five. And I was talking slow! There's some things I realized I need to add, revisit and think about some more before I decide to teach that lesson again. If I want to give Maggie's students a true vision of what life as an American high schooler is, then I need to be more detailed.

The other day, while in one of the Junior 3's classrooms I noticeed a board which I guessed to be a no-name board. Most of it was jibberish as all Chinese except the word for 'exit' is. And then I noticed something eerily familiar. AlSo3 I think was what it was. And then with an excited squeak, I looked to Maggie, "It's Chemistry!"

Naturally, Maggie's students found it amusing that I figured out it was Chemistry. What? I'm a senior in high school - I should be able to recognize a chemical reaction formula! That being said, I couldn't tell what type of reaction because above the arrows where it normally tells the energy or what have you, it was written in Chinese.

These Junior 3's are the equivalent of freshman - 14 years old - and they are all taking full-blown Chemistry! I took Chemistry as a freshman but I was by people who were juniors.

Then, walking past a classroom on the senior campus (where we live) I saw a very, very familiar math equation on the screen. They were simplifying trigometric functions. Again with the amazing-ness! I took Trigonometry as a junior and there are quite a few people in my high school that will never take it.

I find it amazing how when I came to China I felt like I was slightly better than my sister's Chinese students because I a) knew English and b) had more money. It was a subconscious thing. But every day these kids amaze me. They are so intelligent. I won't say they are more intelligent than Americans because they have trouble with creativity.

They don't have any "creative" classes - yearbook, newspaper, sculpture (art although generally the students, it seems, don't take it). My sister says that they are not allowed to major in fun things either. They are amazed when they found out that I am going to major in Creative Writing and History. That is just beyond them.

And yet, they are so smart. They have a passion and an eagerness for learning that surprises me constantly. It's a great feeling to know that you can still be taught something even when you aren't expecting to learn.

Not So Much

2009-12-14T22:25:00.002-06:00

I've been in China since Saturday afternoon and I have decided it's definitely no Europe. And maybe that's my fault because I was hoping it would be like Europe. And maybe it's that I'm not used to something so completely, utterly different than what I know. Whatever the case is, China has taken my expectations and blown them out the window.

Walking off the airplane I was happy to see a glass, stable, permanent jet way. Jet ways scare me to death so it was nice to know this one wasn't going to fall. Entering the actual airport it was gorgeous. If it wasn't against Chinese law I would have taken pictures of it. It opened just before the Olympics so it's new and very airy.

A health check (walking through temperature gauges) and customs proved to be scary. There are about twenty customs lines, each with a Chinese official in a surgical mask. Yes, a surgical mask. They don't want to get sick (who does?) and they check your passport and visa - making sure, I assume, you were on the plane manifesto.

Seeing my sister was absolutely amazing. It even made up for the fact that I had McDonalds two meals in a row (minus the meals on the plane). We got to our hostel and by 7 p.m (5 a.m in the U.S.) I was out.

Beijing turned out to be an experience and preferably one I won't have to repeat very often. (Or at all in the case of the metro experience.) The streets are dark, littered with garbage everywhere. And you have to make sure you are avoiding the spitting. Apparently the Chinese believe that is bad to keep phlegm in your body so they spit it out. And also, they wear knit surgical masks because they want to keep their mouth warm. Interesting huh?

We weren't rushing but somehow we got through the Forbidden City and Tian'amen Square in about three hours. The Forbidden City is cool for about the first five buildings. After that it's like, "Oh, more Ming architecture."

Lunch was at a Muslim restaurant where the beef wasn't of great quality - but we were hungry and wanted food.

The Chinese metros rarely have escalators and never elevators so we lugged my two suitcases all around the metro. We think about half of China's population was on those metro rides. There aren't weekends for the Chinese, as I've experienced.

We changed train tickets and had an absolutely horrible experience with the train. Now we know never to get standing room only tickets on a train again. Arriving in Handan around 8:30 we got to Maggie's apartment and then almost promptly went to sleep.

The next morning I went to class with her. And that was an experience of a lifetime. I walked in to a class of 65 students to find them cheering and clapping for me. It was definitely overwhelming. So far I've been to two classes - I'm going to more after lunch. And they were both Junior 1's - the first year of middle school for them. Both classes asked me my age (they thought I was old) and then later, in the second class, they brought Chinese dimes to me and asked if I would buy them an iPod. Sorry honeys, that won't buy an iPod.

I had something at lunch that really turned my stomach and so yesterday I skipped two classes so I could rest and be near a bathroom in case I needed to throw up. After eating some fried rice last night and again today for lunch, I am much better. So yay for so far avoiding the dreaded traveller's sickness.

Until later -

Portfolio and China

2009-12-06T20:18:00.003-06:00

In less than a week I will be in Beijing, China with my absolutely amazing sister. And I could probably go on and on and on (and on!) about how excited I am to see her, to see China and see some monks kick some kung fu butt. (Plus the Muslim bakeries) But I won't. Because there's plenty of time for that once I get to China (or at least, on the 14 hour plane ride.)

I've been retyping some school essays so I can get rid of them and have a digital copy instead. As a future English and History major I need to have samples of my writing for... something I think. If nothing more than to get inspired (yes, I'm weird). But as I'm retyping them I'm realizing I write much better history papers than I do English papers. Is that weird or what? My AP World History papers are much more fluid, more solid reasoned and except for I tend to like to use the word governments over and over, are pretty good. My Honors English II essays? Oh good Merlin they are terrible!

This year I'm taking Humanities which is basically a philosophy slash social science slash English class. And I'm starting to be able to write good English papers that are well thought out (in blue book style which is hard for me.) However, I haven't written a "what's the symbolism in this piece?" paper in about eight months, maybe more. I'm wondering how that's going to affect me when I'm forced to write papers like that for college.

Don't get me wrong, I still love English more than history but for some reason, I happen to be better at history writing. Weird.

Ann

S-p-e-e-e-c-h (Part 1 of many)

2009-11-29T15:16:00.003-06:00

I plan on competing in the Illinois speech competitions this year with my original oratory so I can get used to slowing down my voice. Because, apparently, when I get excited or nervous, I talk faster than the Mercedes on the autobahn.

I knew that Illinois speech competitions are held earlier in the year than Iowa so I knew I needed to find a topic soon so it would be written soon. I meandered around with different concepts and their effect on political standing (left or right) but I couldn't find the information I wanted or needed.

In comes my sister. She suggested doing something about firewalls and comparing them. It sounded interesting since she knows first-hand the issues Chinese people have with their internet and I know from my high school blocking sites like the New York Times blogs. I mean, honestly? Who blocks the New York Times blogs?

Anyway, here I go on a journey to learn about firewalls. Wish me luck!

Dude, it's like... an epiphany!

2009-11-18T15:43:00.003-06:00

There's irony in the title in that my epiphany was of a higher plane of thinking (or so said a friend) and yet, here is the title that sounds very surfer-dude-ish.

I went on a visit to my college of choice: Carroll University. I'm planning on enrolling and I'm super excited, as evident by my enthusiasm during my visit, despite being asked what I was majoring in and what other schools I applied to about twenty times in a period of thirty minutes.

However, my college visit came with a drawback - I didn't have time to write much more than a few journal entries. When I got home on Sunday I was 7, almost 8,000 words behind. I thought I would try to catch up but then that night as I journaled I realized I didn't want to catch up. I didn't want to force my ideas. I know I can write a novel so NaNo is more of a push in words. And NaNo definitely has it's uses but I don't see it as a thing for me right now.

Don't doubt, NaNoWriMo has helped me write my first novel draft although because of the word goal I ended up with about 15K of crud to be cut. NaNoWriMo has given me confidence as a writer and I love it to death. But it's not for me at this point in time.

Right now I don't want to focus on word count. Sure, I want to write every day but I want to focus on ideas and not words. I think if I do that, I'll have more solid plots, subplots, characters and then eventually novels. And that's my goal - to become a stronger writer.

NaNo Day 9

2009-11-09T15:52:00.003-06:00

The first week is over and unfortunately, life is starting to ascert itself. I am applying for scholarships which require essays and since I know they will take awhile, I haven't started them so not to detract from NaNo. Not a great idea.

Then there's the issue of my sister's Christmas present. I need to have it done soon since I leave in 32 days and I've got to get a few special things to complete it. Sorry for the vagueness, but she reads my blog (hi you know who!) and I don't want her knowing.

Of course, I'm keeping up with my word count but not with everything else. Tonight I'm going to yoga so maybe I'll have the clear mind to get everything accomplished.

13,942 words strong!

At the end of Week One

2009-11-07T19:08:00.002-06:00

I should be at 11,667 by the end of tonight. I know I'll make it but at the moment I'm at 10,275. I'm not that far behind, honestly. I just haven't done my word count for the day.

It's been an interesting first week. I am still waiting very impatiently for my ACT scores and my senior fall photos to come up so I've spent quite a few fifteen minute chunks of time on the ACT.org website or Elizabeth Somes' website. Like now - I'm checking her website to see if they're up. They were suppose to be up last Sunday. Oh well. Hopefully they'll be up soon.

I've also somewhat completely scrapped my plot idea for NaNo. The Depth of Emotions is now on hold. I'm having a really hard time writing it. I think it's because the muses are saying anything right now. Which is extremely sad since now I only have real people (you know who you are ;)) to distract me in physics.

So what has my NaNo become? Well, it's a continuation in some forms, of my NaNo 2007 memoir, Outside the Inner Fence about my time in Germany. But now it's a bit different. I'm taking journal entries I've written previously and turning it into something.... well, I'm not exactly sure. But I like it. I like it a lot.

We'll see where it takes me. But for now, I'm going to go work on my word count.

NaNo, NaNo, NANO!

2009-11-03T19:20:00.002-06:00

No, this has absolutely nothing to do with the iPod product (although my mom loves her's). This has everything to do with something called National Novel Writing Month, affectionately known all around the world as NaNoWriMo or NaNo for short.

A little history first - NaNoWriMo is in it's 11th year run by Chris Baty - one crazy man who makes us all realize we can achieve just about anything we set our mind to. NaNo is now... well, it's over 10,000 writers so that's a big 'we'.

The goal: Write 50,000 on a brand spankin' new novel in 30 days. (1,667 words a day for the math curious.)

So far I'm about 1,000 words behind due to a cold which I have now gotten over. And of course, I'm not the traditional NaNo-ist this year - yes I'm writing a novel - I'm counting blog posts and side stories as long as they are new words. I know my NaNo novel - titled The Depth of Emotions is not formulated enough that I can do it any justice. Is this cheating? Will the NaNo police come after me?

I don't think so. Because NaNo is an honor system. I believe blogging and side stories are still words - they're still important and helping me push forward in my writing. And if I believe they're words, then they're words. :)

So I'm off to finish my word count for the day. Let's hope it goes well!

Annieca with 3935 / 50,000 words

Nostalgia or Lack Thereof

2009-10-24T20:16:00.002-05:00

Today I took the ACT for the last time. That stupid, four hours of torture "have your brain fall into a puddle on the floor" test. Yep, it's the American College Test if I remember the acronym correctly. And it's my ticket to get into well...nothing really.

True, I needed to take the ACT to get into Carroll or North Central (who accepted me this week and told me I would recieve $16,000 on admission). But now I'm in, I've got the scholarship from the college and I'm ready for whatever comes next.

But, being the unhappy perfectionist that I am, I decided to take the ACT one more time. I was trying to improve on my score of 28. Part of it's a sibling rivalry in which my sister got a 30 and I want to best her. Part of it is just me.

So I went into Pleasant Valley High School (oh I could rant about them and their elitist school and uninspiring learning environment but I won't) to take the ACT one last time.

And I came out feeling pretty good. My pacing was much better and I didn't feel like "WHAT THE HECK IS THIS?" like I sometimes do on standarized tests. And now, I have the happy announcement to make that I shall never have to take another standardized test in high school or college - until I take the GRE.

Balancing

2009-10-11T16:54:00.002-05:00

I've never been a fan of tightropes - even balance beams. I've always felt that I'm going to fall. It's a fear of mine - falling.

So imagine putting someone in a few high stress positions and then making her walk across that balance beam of life. Yeah, it doesn't work too well.

While I have already decided that I'm going to go to Carroll University in Waukesha, Wisconsin (Go Pioneers!), the college process has become slightly stressful for me. I had, earlier this weekend, one fellowship application, one full-ride scholarship application and one honors program application. Then when I decided I didn't want to go anywhere but Carroll I realized I then needed to fill out my Intent to Enroll form.

Now, at about dinner time on Sunday I have my fellowship application in the mail, my honors program application just needs to be printed out and my full-tution scholarship needs some finishing. So while I have it under control, I still feel slightly stressed.

I'm stressed because there is a huge pressure on me to get as much money as possible for college despite the $13,000 I earned from being in the top ten percent of my class and being a leader. This pressure isn't just in the form of scholarship applications and keeping my grades up, but on improving my ACT score (I've got a 28 right now) and gettinga 4 on my AP Spanish test this May. Improving my ACT score won't help much for scholarship purposes for Carroll but apparently it will help with other things. It's like National Honor Society - pointless to the college who has already accepted me.

This year History Day has started stressing me out early. The theme this year, "Innovation and Impact in History" is an extremely difficult theme and my topic, "Jane Austen," while fun to learn about, has not provided many views on how she was innovative. I know once I email some professors from different universities I will have a better idea but again, that requires that I email them.

Because of the stress of school, college, History Day and other things I have decided to take a break from writing - my true love. It's painful to think that I am going to have to restrain myself from going full-out on writing whatever I'm working on so that I have time for less-fun endevours. I know however, that saving my imagination for NaNoWriMo should be beneficial.

So we'll see how the next two or three weeks goes. I'm going to be on this tightrope/balance beam for awhile and I need to learn how to balance. Let's hope there's a net below when I end up falling - because eventually I will fall - if not now, sometime.

Thick Skin Club

2009-10-07T19:46:00.001-05:00

It takes a certain type of person to write, I think. It takes someone with extremely thick skin. That's something I don't have. Enter in Mr. Williams, my fearless, brilliant college Humanities (official name: Humanities of the Early World) teacher. He's by far, the best teacher I have ever had in high school and actually, ever. I respect his opinion probably more than I should. It's an idea he brought up in class before.

But enough about the wonderful English teacher, there's something more important. We're going back to thick skin. I have been getting okay grades on my analysis of different pieces we've read in Humanities. That was, until we did our most recent essay answers. (He doesn't believe in the five paragraph essay.) I almost failed those essays. I was hurt, I was angry and if I hadn't really extremely focused, I would have been crying in class seeing the grade.

You see, I trust Mr. Williams opinion but I thought I had wrote a better test than the grade he had given me. I hate to have people be overly critical of my writing – even my analysis of something or a non-creative paper – because I take it as an attack on myself. It seems weird but part of it has to do with the fact that I consider myself a writer – writing is who I am. So when someone criticizes my writing my brain immediately puts up walls and says “You're being criticized.” Not my writing...

I want to work on my skin and toughening it up because college can be brutal. I know I'll have professors who absolutely hate my writing style and will give me a bad grade just because of that. (Or so I've heard.) I know that I will get rejection letter after rejection letter when I submit my novel, Build You Wings. And I need a way to just brush all of that out.

In case anyone was wondering, I did end up talking to Mr. Williams about how I could improve my writing so that I will never get a grade like that again. And now that I am armed with tips, my skin just needs some roughing – that's the only way it's going to get thicker.

Tonight's Gonna Be a Good Night

2009-10-04T14:53:00.002-05:00

First off, credit to The Black Eyed Peas for their song.

After rushing home from Emma Young Park in Clinton where we had a cross country meet (covered in mud) I took a short nap and started to get ready. Half an hour earlier than I expected, my date showed up - with his mom. Two things I definitely wasn't expecting. I hadn't gotten my purse together yet so in the process I had forgotten my ID and grabbed mismatched socks for when we were suppose to go bowling. Both didn't matter though since my parents were working the dance and we ended up not going bowling.

After an interesting dinner with 8 girls and my date at Applebees we went to a friend's house to play Buzzword, Wii Tennis and Wii Bowling. It was a bundle of laughs and it was just great - I loved it. I didn't even think about the fact that this was my senior homecoming and I'm not going to have one of these again.

At the dance I found out just what awkward can be. My date doesn't do clubbing dance - the basis of our school dances. I love clubbing dancing since prom last year so I didn't know what to do. I wanted to dance but I didn't want to make him feel like an idiot just standing there while I danced with my girlfriends.

Thankfully a guy I know from the school newspaper came and helped get my date to dance and then it was all fun from there.

Arriving at home around 11:30 at night I promptly dropped into bed. But this morning the aftereffects of not drinking enough water and it being my last homecoming were apparent. I felt sad that I wouldn't have another Homecoming week - especially since this week wasn't all that great due to the weather and us losing our game. I had a headache but that's slowly going away due to my drinking more liquids.

It's going to be a night I'm going to remember for awhile and I've learned a few lessons - dance even if you don't think you want to or know how to - make sure you're one hundred percent comfortable with who you are and who your date is and lastly... just have fun! High school isn't the best time of your life but it certainly can be close up there.

Money (insert Beetles tune here)

2009-09-27T16:55:00.003-05:00

Having finished the first draft of my National Honor Society essay on character (it's about two lines too long so that's why it's a first draft), I realized how important money has become in my life.

I used to think that the economy hasn't affected my family that much money wise. Before the crash we drove two Toyotas, didn't eat out a whole lot and enjoyed an existance that was definitely middle class. Most of that was by choice - we could have stayed in Germany and been upper-middle class but that came at a cost - being away from my sister in college.

Paying for Maggie's college meant we were a little more frugal - we didn't go out to dinner quite as much - and it was important for her to keep up her grades for the scholarship.

Four years later with my sister teaching in China and my senior year of high school, I can definitely tell a change has come about in our way of life.

I lost about 20% (give or take) of my college savings fund due to the stock market. Iowa College Savings Plan has the money I recieved from my grandmother's inheritance and the money my father puts in every paycheck and part of that is in the stock exchange. Needless to say, when it tanked, so did my savings.

However, I'm up to a respectable $31,000 in my fund with a special bond from a family member to only be used for college.

Looking for colleges I was pressed with the idea we had to be able to afford it. This caused some major stress so I was happy when I was guarenteed (even before admittance) $12,500 at Carroll University. It meant that college would not be as much of a financial burden on my parents.

And yet, I can still see the stress. We never go out to eat anymore and leftover night has become common. My mom has been cooking less meat (probably healthier for us) and loads more chicken. She's a coupon-aholic and shops around for the best deals. In many ways this is good for my family. We save money and live healthier. But it comes at a cost.

It comes at the cost that I have to wait for payday to ask for anything - even something as simple as a binder for school or ink for the printer. It comes at the cost that I have to buy my own clothes now because I know we can't necessarily afford my new taste in Gap.

And yet, these aren't things that bother me as much as some things. The biggest thing that bothers me about money is how my mom talks about it. She argues if the insurance company overcharges her $10 or if the morgage doesn't realize that she sent two payments instead of one. Things my mom would never take advantage of before have been taken advantage of. Like the Dollar Store. I know that dollar store vitamins have been studied for not having the right nutrients and actually occasionally being dangerous. But I now have dollar store vitamins.

I don't mind that - as long as I stay safe. But I hate hearing constantly about money. We don't have any more expenses than we did before the economy tanked. My sister's college money is now going into my account and I still get the same amount of allowance. If anything, we're actually doing better because the bonuses are better. But it constantly is brought up. I honestly dislike it. I would rather be oblivious to our financial situation than know what I know now because of Mom's commenting.

The Definition of Failure

2009-09-20T14:31:00.002-05:00

There is no failure except in no longer trying. ~ Elbert Hubbard

Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle. ~ James Russell Lowell

If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down. ~ Mary Pickford

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. ~ Both by Thomas Edison

There are no failures - just experiences and your reactions to them. ~ Tom Krause

Lastly, Webster defines failure as "a lack of success" and "a falling short."

Knowing what all these people say about failure I think sometimes school has it wrong. True, there are people who don't try and therefore, they fail. And then there are those, like me with my AP Spanish, that try and fail.

Failure is never fatal. It's an interesting concept that I don't think many people think about how it could be misconstrued. Failure in a class can result in a low GPA which affects everything from college admissions, to college scholarships, to job prospects later on in life. Failure also knocks confidence down.

I am dropping my AP Spanish class that's online. Yes, I am failing it. And yes, it can be seen as a personal failure because I'm quitting it. But I'm not quitting Spanish. I'm just quitting this class that I cannot learn from. I do not learn a foreign language through the internet. That is not my learning style.

So failure... is whatever we make it out to be. For me it isn't dropping out of this class, but instead, it would be staying in the class because I am doing myself no service to stay in.

I'm finding out...

2009-09-13T13:17:00.004-05:00

This week has been insane for me. And this upcoming week won't be much better.

This week has been hard for me - I failed a Spanish test that I really needed to ace to help my grade. I miss my sister in China and December can't come soon enough for that reason.

I'm finding out a friend's relationship with her boyfriend of almost two years is crumbling and neither will admit it.
I'm finding out that I really want to ask this guy to Homecoming but I'm scarred from two previous asking experiences.
I'm finding out that getting accepted to college may make your self confidence soar for a few days but then reality reminds you that life sucks.
I'm finding out that my friends on a writing community I'm involved in are ignoring me, maybe on purpose, but probably not, and so inevitably I feel alone.
I'm finding that cross country is not getting easier.
I'm finding out that when I ask a question on Yahoo Answers people think my novel is "just another cancer/ My Sister's Keeper novel."
I'm finding out that when I'm going 5 miles under the speed limit people like to tailgate me.

I'm finding that I love a church that accepts everyone.

I'm also finding out that this week I have two meets, two team dinners (one's a picnic) and another Spanish test.

Sometimes finding things out isn't all that fun.

Cross Country

2009-09-11T17:32:00.002-05:00

I had one of the two farthest away meets last night at Cedar Rapids Jefferson - Noelridge Park. It was a nice course though a bit boring and lackluster in the hill department (our girls didn't mind the second problem). When we got there it was my job to stand at the two-mile mark and take splits. Taking splits becomes a little competitive to see who can yell over everyone else but that's not important.

The two mile mark was between four baseball fields with a football field in the middle - weird I know. But from where I sat underneath a tree I got to see a junior high football game, baseball practice, and my absolute favorite - rugby practice. I mean, honestly, how many times a week do you get to watch rugby practice if you aren't in some place where you sing "God Save the Queen" as your national anthem?

Another plus of being a timer is seeing all the girls. I see the good, I see the bad and I see the ugly. I see people trip over the only big hill. And then comes the best part - cheering them on. It's one thing to cheer my girls on. That's easy. But a girl was running Fresh-Soph from Iowa City High and she was really struggling. I smiled at her and told her "Good job! You're almost there!" (In Iowa girls run 2.5 miles.) She looked up at me and smiled hugely. "Thanks!"

And despite the fact that I could be happy about so many other things, having just come out of a really horrendous school day, it made my day.

On the bus back, watching the headlights pass us as we went along I-80, I sat next to our home-schooled girl Katie. And I found somebody I like to talk to and wish I had started talking to her earlier this season.

It's a great experience - cross country. And I only wish I had done it all four years. (Well, for the people - of course not for the running!)

Driving

2009-09-09T17:57:00.002-05:00

I have been driving myself for about a week now I would say. It's not scary at all although I still dislike parking (I park like a German) and I absolutely hate going twenty-five on Iowa Street. It's sooo slow!

But now, to get away from sounding like a whiney two year old, I'll change the subject slightly. Today I drove to practice after dropping Mom off at home and then went to team dinner (super yummy) before leaving for home. On the way home the radio was playing one of my favorite songs so I turned it up and just taped along, lipsynching like nothing else mattered. It was fun and I felt like a teenager just having fun.

I'm not quiet completely insured yet, but tomorrow I will be. And then due to a business trip to Indianapolis, I have the car all to myself. I can go to whatever church I want, I can go to the mall if I want. I can reset all the presets on the radio (Okay, not really but...) and I can just be me.

I'm not ready for the responsibility of being a full-time driver but I'm realizing I like driving. I like the freedom and I like that I can sing in the car and there's nobody to look at me weird.

What do you think? Driving fun or a horror?

Being a Senior

2009-09-04T16:27:00.002-05:00

First off, let me start out with an obnoxious cheer.

L-A-N-C-E-R-S
L-A-N-C-E-R-S
L-A-N-C-E-R-S
LANCERS, LANCERS, LANCERS

This is what we call the "Mr. Denner cheer." Mr. Denner, my eighth grade American Issues teacher and my Honors U.S. History teacher, has been teaching at my school for 30 years. And that's been his cheer for thirty years. When he retires nobody will be able to beat him. Honestly. And he's also the "Voice of the Lancers" because he runs all of our pep auds and announces all the home sporting events. He's got the perfect voice for it and he gets excited easily. He's a great guy.

Today was the first pep aud of the year, ironically enough, in the Pit, home of the Lancers. It was the first time I could officially sit on the senior side and even though I didn't have anyone to sit with because all my friends were in band, I felt exilerated. I was a senior! Little things have started to make it sink in like getting accepted to college or realizing that I can walk around without a pass and there's not a teacher that's going to stop me. (Well, except Mr. Hawley.) I have influence over the freshman and I can be a role model to those who need one.

All those things have been driving home the fact I'm a senior ( realization that graduation is in nine months will come later...) but the one thing that really did it was today at the pep aud. I cheered, I clapped and I sang to the fight song not caring what anyone else said. I was a senior and for that moment, despite not liking Iowa and so ready to get out of it, I was an Iowa teenager. And I loved every second of it.

Acceptance number 1!

2009-09-02T20:19:00.002-05:00

My family and I were sitting down to work out when my dad was going to take his days off for the rest of the year when I decided, on a whim, to check my email on my iPod. Lo and behold I had an email from Carroll University in Waukesha, Wisconsin.

I had been accepted!

And not only had I been accepted, but I had been giving $13,000 in scholarships. $12,500 for being in the top ten percent of my class and having an ACT score of 28 and then $500 for a Leadership scholarship.

So I immediately told my parents but then I wanted to tell my sister who is in China. I didn't want to tell anyone else until I told her. She's my other half, my amazing sister so I checked if she was on Skype. Half an hour later we were done talking and I still couldn't peel myself off the ceiling. I think I'm still up there.

I'm still going to apply for a history scholarship since I think that's going to be my double major second major (writing, of course, being my first). We'll see how that goes.

But yay! I have one college that wants me! Farmington, now it's your turn to tell me you love me or some sort like that.

College Admissions Essays

2009-08-22T16:46:00.002-05:00

I am applying to two colleges I am sure I would be happy at for either. They are Carroll University in Waukesha, Wisconsin (Pioneers) and the Univeristy of Maine at Farmington (Beavers). Farmington requires two essays - one about family or to explain something that might be unclear and the second is either a personal statement or a essay of personal choice.

So I wrote about History Day and how it has made me a better person, a better writer, a better researcher. It's almost done which means I get to send it off as soon as the editing is done. Yay for having a second college application sent off! (I sent North Central College's application off in July.)

Carroll requires a personal statement. Which makes me want to know, how personal do they want it to be. I mean, I know they want to know my academic goals which I have no problem describing, but it's not personal. I mean, my goal to be a creative writing professor is not something entirely unique is it - at least for someone going to major in writing? So now I'm wondering how to make it personal and also get across what my goals are. We'll see how that goes.

I'll keep you posted.

Because Life Doesn't Come with a Title: AKA Welcome

2009-08-17T18:50:00.000-05:00

A school district in Iowa has just started up again for the year. Soon football games and pep rallies will fill the student’s time. They will all be searching for some meaning – the freshman figuring out where they belong in the scheme of high school, the seniors trying to figure out where they fit in this world. For one senior – this senior – this task will be more difficult than perhaps, for others. And she will come with her love of writing and her passion for life to see what else is out there – to see who she will become and who she can be.

Now that the third-person introduction is done, I feel the need to tell anybody who is listening who I am as a first-person. My name is Ann and I am that senior. I love writing more than perhaps anything else, save my family. So the idea of writing about my senior year and then onto college came naturally to me. But why a blog, why about figuring out who I am as a writer, a human being, a student, a mentor?

Because defining yourself comes not only from who you have been in the past, but who you want to be in the future. When you are born you are given a name from your parents. Sometimes you hate the name and sometimes you absolutely love it. But a name does not define you – it merely… helps you along. Have you ever had someone say to you, “Wow you don’t look like (insert name here)”? Exactly – your name is not always indicative of who you will be.

A name is not like a title; a title is something stronger with more sticking power than the average baby name book. A title can define you – but more often than not, you define the title. The title can be something silly like “Cheesy Risotto Lover who hates cats” or something serious as a personal ambition: “Become the next UN Ambassador to the U.S.”

So why did I give this blog the title “To Be Titled”? Because life doesn’t come with a title. It’s as simple as that. When you are born you are not given a title unless you are British and a noble. You have to create your own title based on who you want to become but also who you are.

“To Be Titled” also fits for me because I am a writer. I write whatever my heart feels and whatever my muse guides me to. My writing is often not titled until after it is done with a first draft because a title defines – and I don’t want a piece defined until it knows where it will and has gone. “To Be Titled” works because it speaks of my writing and it also speaks of my life as a senior in high school, looking forward to what comes next, wondering where and how she’ll get through it all.